If Opposites Really Attract, Are You Golden or Just Screwed?

You know how the saying goes: opposites attract. Frankly, I'm allergic to it because I haven't been once been attracted to a guy whose personality is a complete opposite of mine. But many men I am attracted to aren’t attracted to me, but to girls with pretty much they have nothing in common. So if this saying has a point, I am totally screwed.

I’m talkative, energetic, full of-life, a romantic and a dreamer. I am also really passionate and fun-loving. I value honesty and loyalty. So how can I possibly be attracted to a guy who is really quiet, shy and introverted? Or anti-social? Or to a guy who is a total jerk?  Or to a square guy who lacks imagination and passion?

Something New poster via celebritywonder.com

This article was originally inspired by the movie Something New starring Simon Baker. In the movie, Simon Baker’s character Brian pretty much represents everything I want in a guy. Yes, I think Simon always looks great with his wavy blonde hair. And I would pretty much give up heels (I am 5’9”, Simon is 5’10”) for a guy like that. And I talked about how we can be attracted to different looking guys so let’s get to the real issue: personality and how he treats the girl.,

Brian is a landscape architect. He used to be a copywriter at an advertising agency but he hated it. So he is educated but his dreams are more important than fat paychecks. He is smart and independent enough to run his own business. He’s also impulsive, fun-loving, cute, easy-going and social. Add romantic and loyal to the bunch. Yes, Brian is awesome.   

Cut to his love-interest Kenya- who is meticulous, well-planned, who is a workaholic, a little conservative, a little biased, a little racist (she is black, Brian is white). She has a very hard time letting go and she is not always easy to be around. Now, if you want to know what the movie is all about, how they meet and how they hook up and everything, you can read the review here: Something New starring Simon Baker.

But the issue on this post is not romantic comedies, Simon Baker or racism. It is if we are attracted to people who are similar to us or different than us. And I am pretty much like a female Brian. The only difference is that I am a writer. Oh, and I want a romantic, easy-going guy who is not prejudiced about stuff.

Mind you, there will always be differences and things in common. And I am aware of that. What we are talking about is core characteristics and outlook on life.

So if guys’ minds work like Brian’s in real world, I really am screwed. How about you? Tell me your stories about being attracted to guys- how they were similar to or different from you!

Bad Boys Are Way Overrated

Ah, the allure of the term bad boy. It inspired countless stories. And there is also the myth that girls love bad boys.

OK, so it is not exactly a myth. There are many girls who like bad boys. In fact, to my major disappointment, one of my best friends admitted to this fact.

But trust me- there are also many girls out there who think bad boys are way overrated. I should know, I am one of them.

If a guy is an asshole, it is a deal-breaker. He can be the richest and/or sexiest and/or smartest man I have ever met. So what? Nothing matters when the guy doesn’t have the personality it takes to be with me. And what I basically want is a laid-back, easy-going nice guy who doesn’t see picking fights as a hobby.

And by laid-back, I don’t mean lazy or irresponsible. I just mean someone who makes it easy for me to be around him.

I don’t know when people started seeing bad boys as sexy. And movies don’t really count. Seriously. If Timothy Olyphant is playing a badass, and I am finding him attractive, it is because I just like how the guy looks and acts. I am not turned on because he is a jackass. I am turned on because he is Timothy Oylphant.

Tİmothy Olyphant with Jennifer Garner in Catch & Release.

Nice is sexy. I am not saying I’ll fall for any guy who is nice. But come on. Dating is a lot more complicated than that. There has to be an attraction. But let me tell you this much, if I ever liked a guy up to now, it was because I thought he was nice. I was so put off after I learned that the nice boy thing was an act.

And look how Hollywood makes money out of bad boys. They put a misunderstood guy who the audience thinks to be a bad guy but the guy is intrinsically good and he proves it to the audience and the girl he ends up with. Remember Patrick Swayze’s Johnny Castle in Dirty Dancing? Timothy Olyphant’s Fritz in Catch and Release?

So I like good guys, shoot me.  In fact, I have a feeling fewer girls would be single if bad boys were ALL THAT.

Some Essentially Recommended Movie Good Guys

Hugh Dancy’s Grigg in The Jane Austen Book Club

Hugh Dancy’s  Luke Brandon in Confessions of a Shopaholic  

OK, pretty much any Hugh Dancy character is a desirable nice guy, so moving on:

Matthew Macfadyen’s Mr. Darcy – Pride and Prejudice

Colin Firth’s Mark Darcy – Bridget Jones’ Diary, Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason

Lee Pace’s Michael – Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day    

Simon Baker’s Bryan – Something New

Daniel Day Lewis’ Hawkeye – The Last of the Mohicans

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My list goes on, but you get the idea. Let me know what you like: bad boys or good guys. But even if you like bad boys, can you honestly resist a good guy looking like Simon Baker? I am just saying…