Tuesday, November 15, 2011

20s and Checking for Rings: Dating Has Become Even More Complicated!

Image via lovesites.com.

There was this cute guy in my friends’ circle. Totally my type. Turned out to be married.

Then I met two other cute guys through work circles. Both married.

Saw a cute guy on the bus. As close as you can get to Keanu Reeves in real life. Then I saw it. The Ring!

What the ….? When did everyone get married? And I am only 26. Surely the majority of the guys I meet shouldn’t be married???

Dating used to be easier when we were younger. I am not saying it was easy, just easier. All we needed to know was whether the guy we liked a) had a girlfriend b) if not, were we his type?

In our 20s (especially when we are getting closer to 30), we still need the answer to a. But unfortunately, unlike high school where we almost always knew if he was attached, in adult lives it is harder to detect.

Not every guy advertises his relationship status on Facebook. Not every guy uses Facebook. Not every guy mentions his girlfriend when you first meet him. Not every guy wearies a wedding band.

Oh yes, now we have to check for the ring. If he is not wearing any, it doesn’t mean he is not married. Not all married guys start their sentences with “My wife and I….” So before we can even think that guy is our type, we have to check the finger first. If the ring is there, we move on . (The nice and romantic females do, anyway. Some women do dig married men. Though I’ll never know why…).

If the ring isn’t on, and we have friends in common, it takes a little bit of research. I say research, because you can’t go and blatantly ask anyone if he is attached, as it makes it a bit too obvious that you are interested. No need to make things awkward in your social circle. So you use your resources, Google a bit, dig into the social media world. And of course there are still men out there who haven’t mentioned their wives not because it hasn’t come up, but because they are genuinely trying to hide it. So you are just going to have to be a good judge of character and behavior, and if you do notice iffy things, you will need to kick his ass.

Oh boy…not only we need to do research, and pay attention to detail, we might even have to pull a little Patrick Jane on our dates. Remember the cool guy from The Mentalist TV series who can tell all crucial details about a person’s life and personality within a short time of meeting them.

When did dating become even harder? And why do men keep getting married in their mid-20s? What’s up with the baby fever? What happened to enjoying single life, dating and meeting lots of other singles? Dating becomes very challenging if all attractive guys you meet are already taken. Oh well…. Good luck to all of us who want some genuine romance and fun along the way. May we meet some truly single guys that are fun, honest and nice….