Friday, April 27, 2012

Best Friends before Boyfriends? How to Balance Your Relationship with Both

Have you ever had a friend who got so obsessed with their boyfriend/girlfriend that she forgot your phone number? Have you ever dated someone who just seemed to hardly fit you into their calendar when they couldn’t get enough of his friends?

We’ve all been there. OK-so we might have sometimes been the ones not being able to balance everything. Maybe we got sick of listening to our friends going on about how horrible/amazing their boyfriends/girlfriends were, or we just drove our friends crazy doing the same thing.

But let’s face it. You need a romantic life. You need your friends. No need to mess up or give up on either need.

Below is a helpful guest post by Nadia Jones who gives you the right tips so it doesn’t get complicated:

Mike (Paul Rudd) & Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) in a scene from Friends. They were endgame because not only they were great together, but Mike got along famously with her friends, Phoebe didn't go all friends before hoes (or vice versa) on Mike.       

When it comes to relationships, there is nothing more important than the one you have with yourself. But, let’s admit it, your hot boyfriend and adorable best friend are vying for a close second. Unfortunately, managing a balance between a great romantic relationship and the girls and guys who are always by your side, no matter who you date, is a complicated matter. But, with a little effort on your part, and by following some of the most essential do’s and don’ts, you may find that there’s no need to put one before the other.

1. Don’t Badmouth
This is an absolute cardinal sin, even though too many girls find themselves doing it. Do NOT badmouth your boyfriend to your friends or your friends to your boyfriend. Not only is it totally disrespectful to all parties, there is no surer way to draw a battle line between your beau and your besties. You should most definitely confide in your friends about relationship problems (that’s what they’re there for!), and there is no harm in occasionally asking your boyfriend to lend an ear when you’re having a disagreement with a friend, but, if you constantly say negative things about your friends or your boyfriend, you need to get a grip or you could land yourself both friendless and beau-less.

2. Do Find a Balance
Way too many girls neglect their friends after getting into a relationship. While your friends should understand a short, new relationship M.I.A. period, if you find yourself spending all your time with your beau and constantly saying no to invites from friends, you need to get a healthy balance back in your life.

3. Don’t Tell Secrets
Under no circumstances should you tell your best friend’s deepest, darkest secrets to your boyfriend. While you may want to tell each other everything, you should never do it at the sake of your friend’s trust. The same goes for your boyfriend. You can’t tell your best friend things that he doesn’t want people to know just because you happen to be speaking to your totally trustworthy bestie.

4. Do Keep Your Promises
If you have plans coming up with friends or activities that you all do together on a regular basis, don’t start going back on your word just because you would rather hang with your boyfriend. You will always end up feeling guilty and will probably end up talking to your boyfriend about how guilty you feel the entire time you’re hanging out, so just keep your plans with pals intact.

5. Don’t Expect Them to Become Friends
If it happens naturally, then that’s great. But you can’t treat your boyfriend like he is suddenly a member of your group of best friends and expect things to go over well. Your friends want to hang out with you, not him. So don’t drag him around to shopping and movies with your BFF. Likewise, don’t drag your BFF to a bar that he or she will surely hate just because your boyfriend and his friends are there.

Author Bio:
This is a guest post by Nadia Jones who blogs at accredited online colleges about education, college, student, teacher, money saving, movie related topics. You can reach her at nadia.jones5 @

Sunday, April 22, 2012

The husband is 11 years older than the wife! What an outrage!

Yes, the title is pure sarcasm. 

How often do you see a couple where the husband is 11 years older than the wife and freak out? I’m guessing it is not something that sends you panicking. Let’s say she is 37, and he is 48. Let’s say she looks younger, but he is in good shape, and he really cares about her. No, he is not rich. It sounds pretty normal to me. Maybe because I actually did date a guy who was exactly 11 years older than me (21-32) and had a great time.

Nina Dobrev (The Vampire Diaries’ Elena/Katherine) is dating Ian Somerhalder (The Vampire Diaries’ Damon). Nina was born in 1989, and Ian in 1978. I think they make a very pretty couple. And they have always seemed to be getting along so well-so who the hell cares?

Awake TV Series image via

But I was visiting the IMDB boards of my current favorite TV show Awake, mainly to spread the word about the petition for the show to get a second season, and I saw that a lot of people were freaked out that Jason Isaacs (born in 1963)’ character was paired with Laura Allen’s (born in 1974). These characters have been married a long time, and have a 15-year-old son.
On the left: Laura Allen. In the middle: Jason Isaacs. Image via

They made Jason’s character a creep, saying Laura’s too young to have a kid at that age. Like people always have babies in their 30s. Like a 19 year-old never hooked up with a 30 year old. Oh wait- Nina was 19 when Ian was 30. And? So what?

Unless a 50 year old guy is courting a 25 year old woman and vice versa, I am cool with it. A lot of women have been known to be attracted to older men. It’s usually because the girl is mature, and she is emotionally the same age as the guy. At least it has always been the case for me. 10-11 seems OK to me as an upper limit, but it is not like if you get along with someone who’s 13 years older/younger than you, you will say no because it is against the rules. After 20, it is just...well...who cares?

Then of course there is the hypothetical situation when a guy as cute and fun as Gerard Butler asked me out (I know - I wish). Gerard is 15 years older than me. Guess what? I wouldn’t say no because he is at that age.

So for a perfectly good show, people are too concerned that he is just too old to be her husband. They make it sound like she is in high school and he is in a retirement home.

People do amaze me sometimes. Yes, I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Yes, we are all different and all that. But surely when discussing a show, a show’s plot/characters/acting/direction/premise/episodes.... is a much bigger deal than if the actor and actress’ age difference.

Audiences are hard to please. When people are average-looking, people complain that there is no eye candy. When people are good-looking, they call it unrealistic. I’m guessing that if Jason Isaacs’ character was the same age as the wife, people would think the son was too young or something.

Well, if you have seen the show and/or by looking at the pictures, let me know: 

1)Is Jason’s character too old to be Laura’s character’s husband?

2)Do they really look bad together?

3)What do you think about the age difference between Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder?