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| Image via shelovesmagazine.com |
It’s funny how
long-distance dating is a universally recognized challenge. Everyone has a
strong opinion on it. Most of us have either attempted it once, or have
supported a friend through their attempts. And hey, I agree. It is a freakin’
hard situation to be in. Because more often than not, one side will be more
invested than the other. It almost often ends in tears, and leaves the rest of
us swearing off it for good.
But what about
long distance friendships? With all the traveling, abroad education and work
experience we’ve been getting into all our lives, we make a lot of great
friends who live far from us. Some live in other countries, some outright on
other continents. Not that living on the far corners of one big country is easy,
either. And what about those cities that have more people than most countries?
So how do you go
from seeing someone on a regular basis to the obligatory “let’s keep in touch”?
How do you get
used to having a really close friend a few doors away or in the same classes to
meeting for a couple of times a year? Or just once in a couple of years?
Now, updating
each other about our lives had never been easier. We have Facebook, Twitter,
Linkedin, e-mail, Skype...And hey, there are also cheap flights and
accomodation.
But for every
option to connect virtually or in real life, there are numerous setbacks. You might
have a friend who detests social networking. You probably have a friend who
never has money/time when you do and viceversa. Time and money hardly come
together. Then there’s work, friends who actually live closer, romantic
relationships, starting families, demanding jobs...
In theory, if you
both really care about each other and want to make it work, you will make it
work. In reality, even if you are adamant about ensuring your friendship will
stand the test of time (and distance), neither of you are prone to crises of
one kind of the other.
Oh, don’t get me
wrong. I’m so not claiming that I’m perfect.
I’ve been known
to nag my abroad friends for not keeping touch online, where I have failed to
keep in touch with those who live in the same city.
I’ve been known
to complain about how romances change people and some friends just can’t
multitask (some people are better friends when they are single- meaning they
only seem to have time for two things at a time in life), and yet I have cheated on many friends with
work (-work being writing).
Yet with all our
faults and virtues, and despite all the conspiracies and surprises life sends
our way, we still manage to be more hopeful about our friendships.
I’ve never heard
someone say “Nah, long distance friendships never work,” as opposed to the
relationship version of that sentence. Hell, I agree with the relationship
version of that sentence.
Funnily enough,
two of my now long-distance friends were in a relationship. The guy ended it
because he didn’t believe in you-know-what. She was so heart-broken. But guess
what? The guy was a lot better at maintaining a long distance friendship than
she was.
So here’s the
deal: I don’t give up on my friendships without a fight. If they show me that
they still care about me, regardless of my location and how often they can
physically see me, I do my best to make sure we last. I’d love to think that the people who
left an impression on me won’t give up on me easily either.
I’m still
skeptical about long-distance romantic relationships. But friendships? I guess I just care too much.
How about you?
Where do you stand when it comes to long distance relationships – whether its
friendship or romance?
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