If Opposites Really Attract, Are You Golden or Just Screwed?

You know how the saying goes: opposites attract. Frankly, I'm allergic to it because I haven't been once been attracted to a guy whose personality is a complete opposite of mine. But many men I am attracted to aren’t attracted to me, but to girls with pretty much they have nothing in common. So if this saying has a point, I am totally screwed.

I’m talkative, energetic, full of-life, a romantic and a dreamer. I am also really passionate and fun-loving. I value honesty and loyalty. So how can I possibly be attracted to a guy who is really quiet, shy and introverted? Or anti-social? Or to a guy who is a total jerk?  Or to a square guy who lacks imagination and passion?

Something New poster via celebritywonder.com

This article was originally inspired by the movie Something New starring Simon Baker. In the movie, Simon Baker’s character Brian pretty much represents everything I want in a guy. Yes, I think Simon always looks great with his wavy blonde hair. And I would pretty much give up heels (I am 5’9”, Simon is 5’10”) for a guy like that. And I talked about how we can be attracted to different looking guys so let’s get to the real issue: personality and how he treats the girl.,

Brian is a landscape architect. He used to be a copywriter at an advertising agency but he hated it. So he is educated but his dreams are more important than fat paychecks. He is smart and independent enough to run his own business. He’s also impulsive, fun-loving, cute, easy-going and social. Add romantic and loyal to the bunch. Yes, Brian is awesome.   

Cut to his love-interest Kenya- who is meticulous, well-planned, who is a workaholic, a little conservative, a little biased, a little racist (she is black, Brian is white). She has a very hard time letting go and she is not always easy to be around. Now, if you want to know what the movie is all about, how they meet and how they hook up and everything, you can read the review here: Something New starring Simon Baker.

But the issue on this post is not romantic comedies, Simon Baker or racism. It is if we are attracted to people who are similar to us or different than us. And I am pretty much like a female Brian. The only difference is that I am a writer. Oh, and I want a romantic, easy-going guy who is not prejudiced about stuff.

Mind you, there will always be differences and things in common. And I am aware of that. What we are talking about is core characteristics and outlook on life.

So if guys’ minds work like Brian’s in real world, I really am screwed. How about you? Tell me your stories about being attracted to guys- how they were similar to or different from you!

Does the Dating Universe Want Us to Be More Specific?

Apparently, it does. Because crossing your fingers to meet a cute guy or hoping that the guy that you like will like you back no longer seems to be enough.

Here’s what I learned so far in my 26 years (of living):

-         * It is not enough for the guy you like to like you back. He has to be single and he has to be a nice person, and a good boyfriend. I covered this in detail in 5 Parameters That Keep Us Single.

-         * And apparently, when you are in your 20s, you have to be more specific than “I hope he doesn’t have a girlfriend”. Well, guess what- he might have a wife! So we need him to be 100% single. No wife, no girlfriend and hopefully, no friends with benefits.

-        * So I like tall guys, standing at 5'9" myself.  And one of the tall guys I ended up dating was...Well, let's just say that as it turned out, he wasn’t getting enough oxygen in his brain. I guess that can be a problem when you are about 6’ 5”. I wonder if this is the reason Jennifer Aniston-Vince Vaughn relationship didn't work?

-         * So after a "tall" disappointment, I said: "OK, height doesn’t really matter that much."
      I was hoping the dating universe would understand and send me a guy with decent brain activity but all I got was a guy closer to my height who was even more of a weirdo than the taller guy when it came to relationships.

-         *  I later asked for a great guy who I had lots in common with, who I’d have a riot with. I found such a guy. He was a great friend, and really good-looking too. Nothing happened.  But I wasn’t his type. Ouch.

.......

Yep, the universe kept misunderstanding me. So  I decided to be more specific. I am sharing what I want with you, and sending the wish out there:

I want a cute, totally single guy who is fun, nice, attractive (to me) and attracted (to me). I also want him to be easy going and have a high level of emotional intelligence. Oh, it would really help if he didn’t have kids. And it would help if he doesn’t really want kids at all. I also need him to be fun-loving, loyal and reliable. I also need him to have the skill of empathy. I want him to be romantic and attentive but not possessive. I want him to like me for who I am. And I need to have mutual sparks flying all over the place!!!

Do you think that was a bit much? Well, sorry. It never served me well when I just asked for a nice guy! So there! I think that’s specific enough.Don't you?

Feel free to be specific in comments :)

Do you really have a type when it comes to attraction, flirting and dating?

I don’t. I’d say that generally I am more drawn to guys who are taller than me and happen to have cute smiles, but that is pretty much all they have in common. Hell, they might not even have the height in common. 

I have been aware of this for a while but it dawned on me once again when a friend decided, based on my recent fascination with The Vampire Diaries’ Paul Wesley’s, looks that she has a clear idea of what my type is. Well, she was in a rush so I didn’t get a chance to show her Ian Somerholder, who plays Paul Wesley’s brother on the show. But apart from playing brother vampires and me finding both of them extremely attractive, they don’t really have anything in common. Oh, then there is also Matthew Davis, who is a guest-star on the same show. He is just gorgeous.

So this is Paul Wesley.

And this is Ian Somerhalder. Do you see a resemblance? I don't...

But I also think the “kid” brother Jeremy (who plays a high school student but is actually 22), played by Steven R.  McQueen, will grow up to be a total hunk (just like his grandfather the late Steve McQueen was). Oh, let’s not forget the cast’s Zach Roerig, who plays Matt and is a total cutie. Then there is his best friend Tyler, played by Michael Trevino. Now, I shouldn’t be finding Michael Trevino attractive if Zach is my type, but I do. I love the fact that Tyler reminds me of Jonathan Rhys Meyers on his good days. Oh, and let’s not forget the guest star Taylor Kinney, who played Tyler’s Uncle Mason for 6 episodes.

Matthew Davis

Steven R. McQueen

Well, so the above examples have all been from The Vampire Diaries- but it does serve the point of this article perfectly. I find the male cast to be extremely attractive, even though they couldn’t have looked like each other less. 

Michael Trevino

Zach Roerig.

Taylor Kinney.

The point is, what attracts you, attracts you. There is no point in making up rules. But don’t get me wrong, I do have rules and a certain type when it comes to personality. I want decent, fun-loving & friendly.  There is no way I am giving up on that. Other than that, I am pretty open to different types when it comes to looks.

Take a look at some other celebrities that I find attractive, to further visualize my point:

*Jon Bon Jovi, Mel Gibson’s youth, Colin Firth, Gerard Butler, Clive Owen, Denzel Washington, Antonio Banderas, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Keanu Reeves, Paul Walker....

So, boys and girls, do you have a type? Really? I think it is just more fun if you don’t.