Thursday, October 21, 2010

Older Women dating Younger Men vs. Older Men Dating Younger Women

This is a subject that has always intrigued me.  When I was younger, I used to think people should date people their own age or people really close to their age. Now, I really couldn’t have cared less. In fact, I am in favor of dating older men (men who are 15 years older than me are OK) . Well, obviously I don’T find any older man attractive. I like a guy who is energetic but also know who he is, what he wants and is sick of playing games with the opposite sex. Plus, I think that men usually mature a little later than women. You might disagree, but all the men I know seem to prove this.

Image via Interestingly, she was the older one. I thought Tim always looked older, especially after the white hair thing.

Now, I am not dating younger men either. While it might seem contrary to what I say earlier, I am not against being proven wrong. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher seem to be working out just fine. Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins dated more than 20 years. Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn are still together. 

Society strangely still seems to favor men dating younger women. Well, the romantic and the feminist in me couldn’t disagree more. Obviously there is no way I’d approve a 20 year-old dating a 80 year-old, a 10 or 15 year age gap seems trivial if the couple seems to be getting along. Hell maybe even 15-20 won’t matter. But I recently watched a lovely stint on a comedy show:

A husband and wife are really having difficulty getting used to the fact that their son will bring home a girl to meet them. He is in college so they know it is time. However they are shocked when they realize the girlfriend seems a good 15 years older than him. Since this is comedy, they throw around hilarious jokes around, universally reflecting the opinions on age difference:
Dad: Really? Why did you bring your girlfriend’s mother to meet us?
Dad: Are you sure you want more salt? Maybe you want to watch the high pressure?
Dad: Our son is failing history? Why doesn’t he ask you?
While you laugh your head off, it makes you think. Then the guy’s uncle comes over. He seems to think that this is a prank. He even calls the woman “stale”. But guess what kind of girls the uncle is into? High school girls!  
Cougar Town's Courteney Cox with David Arquette. They are separated now, but they got along fabulously for over a decade. He is 7 years her junior.
Another fun example that you might have caught on TV is Courteney Cox’s show Cougar Town. The show is fun and you can read my review on  here. But, to directly talk about our topic: In the show Courtney plays a 40-something-hottie of a single mom. She is newly divorced and nothing is holding back from dating. Although there is one issue: The men her age are either married or they are dating much younger women, including her newly divorced hot neighbor Grayson (Josh Hopkins). And younger men seem to find older women hot and intriguing. So she starts dating younger men. 

Thankfully Hollywood movies seem to carry less double standards nowadays. Did you notice how Michelle Pfeiffer's on-screen romantic partners are get younger as she grows older? 

So I want to know what you think. Would you date someone much younger? Older? Have you ever dated someone younger/older? I once dated a 32-year-old when I was 21 and it was so much fun.


  1. Dating is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship and age does not matter. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.

  2. Thank you for this lovely post. Tonight I celebrated my 3rd anniversary with my love. He is 13 years younger than me :)