Thursday, December 2, 2010

Book Review: What the hell is he thinking? by Zoe Strimpel

I had a great laugh while I was watching Mel Gibson’s What Women Want. It was a great comedy/romance about a chauvinistic, guys’ guy who starts to change after he unexpectedly begins to hear what every woman thinks. The movie had gotten a lot of things right, but then again it was written and directed by a woman, Nancy Meyers (also the writer& director of Something's Gotta Give, It's Complicated). I had then contemplated the opposite idea. I remember thinking it would be a great idea to hear what men think…But the truth is, as long as the ability comes with an off switch, it would feel more like a curse than a blessing.

Image via

Still, it sucks not being able to figure what they think, doesn’t it? Especially if you like a guy who is giving you mixed signals or acting weird. It gets even more complicated when he turns out to be the exact opposite of what he claimed to be when he was first met you. You want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but the longer you stay in the relationship, the more you realize he was an asshole who had disguised himself as a nice guy.

As for the benefit of the doubt, there is no need to be naïve about it. I used to believe that every man was innocent until proven guilty. I was just being a nice girl and a romantic. But I realized that being a cynic does more good than harm and it is better to accept the opposite: Assume guilty until proven innocent. And there is an awesome book on relationships to help me prove my point: "He is just not that into you".

Don’t think that I am being particularly feminist or sexist- when I covered the book and the movie on the same article, I made sure I believed the books’ points made sense for both sexes. The most important to take from it is that if he/she is making you confused, making you second-guess them, you feel like there are mixed signals…well, he/she is not just that into you. It’s that simple, right?
But sometimes, you wonder why that person is like that. What the hell is crossing their minds? Why aren’t they that into you in the first place? Why are they acting like jerks?

The difference is, while “He is just not that into you” can be considered unisex in many aspects (if guys can be smart and take hints), What the Hell is He Thinking?: All the Questions You've Ever Asked About Men Answered is strictly for girls.

Image via amazon.

The author Zoe Strimpel is a British writer, born in 1982. She has been writing a dating column but she wasn’t less clueless than the majority of her friends and the rest of the female population when it came to the puzzling behavior of men. So she talked to many men, including strangers, friends, friends’ boyfriends, dating gurus…that cover a wide range of ages, physical appearance, jobs and personality.

And while it is a very fun, fast and true-to-heart read, it is not for the faint of heart as you will listen to true stories of men who only want to date skinny women but consider having sex with plump women “lovely” (they just wouldn’t date them), men who read Cosmopolitan so that they can get laid more often and fool more girls (-they don’t read these mags to make their women happy), men who get possessive over women they are not in love with, Casanova wannabes who try their initial games on you, men who give mixed signals, men who openly lust after other women while their girlfriends are present and much more depressing true stuff…

While I still believe that "He is just not that into you" the pretty much the only relationship book you’ll ever need to get to be with people you deserve, What the Hell is He Thinking?: All the Questions You've Ever Asked About Men Answered is the next best step, if you are trying to figure out what the hell was that behavior all about. And yes, many of the reasons and explanations are going to be too superficial or too brutally honest. But don’t forget, it is coming directly from the source and you did ask for it.


  1. I think the book can't be as impressive as the movie, additionally you can more or less figure out what men think or want in a relationship :D well their minds are fixed on the same area at least, but if you're dealing with a woman it could be thousands of things. You never know
    By the way all men kind are jerks :D also coming from the same area

  2. Well, yeah- you can at least see when the guy is not into you. This book- what the hell is he thinking- gives you the why. And the answers are really in the line of:

    -you weren't pretty/hot enough.
    -he really is just a bastard.
    -he wants to sleep with other people.

    Sad but true:)