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Reaching that point in your life where you’re ready to begin dating again after losing your wife or husband, whether it’s from divorce or death, is a precarious point, especially when you throw kids into the mix.
In a way it’s like reverting back to going on your first date all over again; there will be those fluttering feelings of nervousness, failed attempts at dating, and struggling to find your groove before things start clicking into place.
If you’re ready to dive back into the world of dating then keep these things in mind.
You have to put yourself out there
The idea of dating may seem like a good one in theory, but it can be hard to get back on the market and put yourself out there when you’ve become accustomed to your daily routine of work, kids, and everyday life. If you’re serious about dating then let friends know you’re thinking about starting again so that they can help locate eligible dates, join a dating site, and get out and involved in different activities that can help you connect with like-minded individuals. It’s going to be rough at first. It will get easier.
Be up front about having kids
The last thing you want when you meet a guy or girl you think might be worth hanging onto is to keep this crucial fact from them until the “right” time. The right time is in the beginning when the relationship is still forming because otherwise you’re building a relationship on a slippery foundation of lies. You can’t hide one of the biggest parts of your life from people who may become a big part of your life in their own respect, and they need to be able to determine if they’re up for dating someone who has kids or not.
The last thing you want when you meet a guy or girl you think might be worth hanging onto is to keep this crucial fact from them until the “right” time. The right time is in the beginning when the relationship is still forming because otherwise you’re building a relationship on a slippery foundation of lies. You can’t hide one of the biggest parts of your life from people who may become a big part of your life in their own respect, and they need to be able to determine if they’re up for dating someone who has kids or not.
Exercise care in who you introduce to your kids
Your kids are going to be judgmental. Expect it. You’re trying to fill something that’s missing in both your life and their life and it’s going to take a special person to walk into that role. That being said, don’t introduce them to every single person you go on a date with because that will get confusing for them. Only introduce them to people you’re getting serious about.
Your kids are going to be judgmental. Expect it. You’re trying to fill something that’s missing in both your life and their life and it’s going to take a special person to walk into that role. That being said, don’t introduce them to every single person you go on a date with because that will get confusing for them. Only introduce them to people you’re getting serious about.
Include the kids occasionally
Think dating was hard when you were 16 and seeking your parents approval? Well dating with kids is a whole new ballpark of trying to attain the seal of support. While you may be swept up in a whirlwind of romance it’s important to put the romance aside on some dates and to have a family day instead. This way your partner can begin to form his or her own bonds with your kids and you can see how they interact together. You can learn a lot watching how these bonds form or not.
Think dating was hard when you were 16 and seeking your parents approval? Well dating with kids is a whole new ballpark of trying to attain the seal of support. While you may be swept up in a whirlwind of romance it’s important to put the romance aside on some dates and to have a family day instead. This way your partner can begin to form his or her own bonds with your kids and you can see how they interact together. You can learn a lot watching how these bonds form or not.
Know which lines to cross
Just because you’re a parent, it doesn’t mean that you can’t go out to the bar to dance and drink or you can’t have a fling. You’re human. You’re single. It’s ok. But do so with the knowledge that you do have other people counting on you now so being home at a reasonable hour and keeping those flings out of your own bed is still important. It’s ok to indulge in some of those raging hormones. It’s not ok to pretend like you’re in college.
Don’t forget your kids
You’re probably thinking there’s no way in… well, ever that you would forget about your kids. But sometimes people lose themselves in their new boyfriend or girlfriend and let all their other responsibilities fall to the wayside in favor of furthering that relationship. Don’t make that mistake.
You’re probably thinking there’s no way in… well, ever that you would forget about your kids. But sometimes people lose themselves in their new boyfriend or girlfriend and let all their other responsibilities fall to the wayside in favor of furthering that relationship. Don’t make that mistake.
Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a life of loneliness, crossword puzzles, and books on tape. You’re a single parent, and dating is something you should be able to enjoy if you want to! Just exercise care and caution while you’re doing it and keep your kids your number one priority.
Author Bio
Mary Edwards is one of the contributors and editors for dating sites. She is passionate about thought leadership writing, regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting and online dating community. She can be reached at edwardsmary936@ gmail.com.
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